


I'll Be Waiting

by c0matoast



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ghosts, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, I cried while writing this, Moving On, One Shot, Past Character Death, Photographs, Spoilers, Timeskip, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:49:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27646412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c0matoast/pseuds/c0matoast
Summary: Japan has been and always will be where he lives, but that blonde-haired American boy will always be his home. And right now, Eiji was particularly homesick.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	I'll Be Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> Angst One-shot! I was supposed to be paying attention to my geometry class but instead, I cried while writing fanfiction. Thanks to @pessimism for revising and editing for me <3
> 
> hope you enjoy it!

Eiji has distant memories of his time in America. Most of it is a blur. He has hundreds of photos of everything he saw, giving him the hit of nostalgia he needs to keep New York close to his heart. 

But there’s a box of photos he prefers to keep closed, all of them being of a specific boy he wishes he could hold in his arms. Ash. Aslan. Monster. Lynx. Whatever you called him, it didn’t matter to Eiji. Eiji had tried to move on a long time ago, but the guilt never quite subsided him, so he preferred to keep those feelings locked away.

Japan has been and always will be where he lives, but that blonde-haired American boy will always be his home. And right now, he was particularly homesick. Eiji had not opened that box in a long time, knowing that once he takes a peek he won’t be able to stop himself from remembering every single thing about him. Every single perfect detail, every phrase he spoke, every flaw he tried to hide. Eiji tried to forget them all. 

He couldn’t.

Eiji was sitting on the floor of his living room, shoebox in his lap, and oh his last leg. He missed Ash. No matter how hard he tried to forget him, or move on, he couldn’t. 

The box he had in his lap that he had been absent-mindedly thumbing at was looking into his soul. Eiji felt a chill go up his spine as he gingerly slid the lid off. The box was small but filled to the brim. 

Pictures. Everywhere. Eiji remembered taking each and everyone. With a shaking hand, he picked up the first one. It was a candid shot of Aslan, standing half-dressed with messy bedhead in their kitchen. Eiji let out a trembling laugh at finally seeing him again.

Aslan had a soft, almost innocent smile on his face, but behind his emerald-green eyes, you could see every thought that plagued him. Eiji wanted nothing more than to hold him and protect him from himself. 

Eiji’s hand trembled and tightened around the photo, wrinkling it just slightly. He felt a drip fall down his cheek, and he noticed he was softly crying. With his free hand, he delicately swiped the tear off his cheek. 

Eiji looked to his coffee table, noticing a jar of tacks. He takes one and walks over to the large empty wall to his left, photo in hand. He flattens the picture against the wall and pierces the tack through it into the wall, pinning it in place. He steps back, admiring the boy on the paper for a moment, before going back to his box.

He takes the next photo. Cape Cod. He can tell from the large open fields of grass, Ash standing by a broken fence, aiming his pistol at an empty beer bottle. This was a different boy to the one he loved so much. Aslan was soft and caring. He would cry in your arms and laugh at your jokes. He would hold your face and tell you how pretty he thinks you are, or softly ruffle your hair with a smile.

Ash was different. Ash was cold, living off instincts and instincts alone. He was too smart for his own good. Ash had blood on his hands, blood that Aslan wishes he could forget. 

Eiji inspected the photo. He remembers why Ash must have been so sad to come back. No one wants to remember stuff like that. 

Eiji took the photo, pinning it slightly above and to the right of the other picture. 

He goes through the rest of the box slowly. Each one made him laugh or cry before he pinned it to the wall next to the others. 

Max’s House. 

Their trip to LA. 

The bar where they first met. 

Coney Island. 

The apartment.

Main Street.

The library.

The library. Eiji paused on this one. Aslan looked so peaceful, his nose in a copy of The Catcher In the Rye. That made Eiji smile. He remembered how Aslan always re-read it over and over again. He was in seat 378. Eiji gently caressed the seat label, knowing that it was the seat where Aslan was alive last. 

A trembling laugh fell from his lips. “You can be so selfish sometimes,” He whispered to the photo, a light smile stretching across his face. The tears collected in his eyes again. “I still think about you a lot.” 

No one was around, yet it almost felt like someone was talking back to him. 

Eiji backed up until he was leaned against the wall of memories he had created. He held the photo to his chest. 

“I hope you’re free now.” He whispered to his ceiling. Tears slowly crept down his cheeks, and he closed his eyes, basking in the nostalgia. He felt at peace for the first time in a while. He didn’t have to hold anything back. 

Eiji drifted to sleep, memories of Aslan echoing in his head. Everything from things he thought about daily, to thoughts that he barely remembered. 

He felt someone brush his hair aside. A cold hand, but comforting nonetheless. His eyes fluttered open. His eyelashes were a little heavier than usual from having wet tears on them. 

Aslan was there, arm outstretched and in a crouched position. He had a soft smile and his head was slightly tilted, and his blonde hair shone in the lights of the room. “There you are.” He said with a laugh. “I almost thought you had died, too.” His hand drifted down Eiji’s face to his cheek, lightly tracing his cheekbone with his thumb. 

Eiji sat up. Putting Aslan’s hand in his own. Holding it. “Aslan..?”

The blonde laughed again. “Why so formal?” 

Eiji’s heart fluttered at seeing Aslan smile. It had been forever since he had seen that genuine happiness in his eyes. “Are you really here?” He said, his voice shaking.

Aslan’s thumb stopped moving for a second, his happiness dropping. “No,” He said quietly, head facing the ground. “I just missed you, I had to stop by on my way.” He paused. “C’mon, stand up.”

Aslan pulled Eiji up from the floor, standing eye-to-eye with him. Eiji stumbled as he stood, his hand and breath still shaking. “Where are you going?” Eiji finally managed to say. 

“You’re the last one,” Aslan replied. “Everyone else has moved on, so I’m finally headed up.” He pointed up to the sky, a childish laugh escaping him as he said it.

Eiji gently put his arms around Aslan’s neck, pulling him close. The tears on his cheeks were dried and uncomfortable, but he couldn’t care to wipe them away. Aslan flinched for a moment at the contact, before putting his head in the crook of Eiji’s neck. They stood for a moment, holding each other. 

“Will you be gone forever?” Eiji whispered, barely loud enough for either to hear. 

“No, not forever,” Aslan replied, at the same volume. 

Eiji’s grip tightened around Aslan, “How long will it be?”

“Whenever you’re ready.” 

Eiji’s eyes welled up again, his voice shaking and body shaking. “What if I’m not ready?”

Aslan pulled apart from Eiji, looking into his eyes. His own eyes glossed over, light tears falling from his face. He put on a shaky smile and held Eiji’s face in his hand. 

“You will be.” He said, his own voice quivering. “I promise.” He took in a deep breath, his voice catching in his throat. “I’ll be waiting for you, okay?”

Eiji’s body curled in on itself, his own sobbing face slowly gaining a smile as he stared into the emerald-green eyes he loved so much. “Okay...” He said, barely understandable through his cries. 

Aslan pressed his lips to Eiji’s forehead, letting his arms wrap around his back and comfort him. As he pulled away, he let a final phrase slip from his lips;

“I love you, Eiji.”

Eiji’s eyes fluttered open, to an empty apartment. He was still leaned against the wall of pictures, the photo of Aslan still in his hand. His cheeks were wet with tears, and his hair was messed up from rubbing against the wall. 

He looks at the photo one last time. Aslan looked so peaceful in it. He let his fingers run over the wrinkles in the paper as he spoke his final words to it; 

“I love you, too. See you soon.”

He spoke softly, the words barely registering in his ears. He stood grabbing a final tack off the table, and lightly placing the picture against the wall. He was much more gentle with this tack than the others, slowly pressing it into the wall.

He stepped back, admiring the memories he had, and noticed his heart no longer ached at the sight of his shiny blonde hair. He repeated the words again to himself.

“I’ll see you soon, Aslan.”

A final tear fell from his smiling face, and he whipped it away with his hand.

“I hope you’re waiting.” 

**Author's Note:**

> oops it was sadder than expected whoops 
> 
> ill try to write something happy next but we'll see 


End file.
